I once believed that resolutions can only mean setting myself up for failure and have never been one to make them. But I am not the same person I was. Much less when I was a mere leech, flashing about staunch erroneous beliefs with unearned self-importance.
Now, I see beyond the reflection on the mirror and understand who I really am. That someone sadly relishes solitude, revels in insecurities, and never sidesteps but plunges deep into darkness. Reading that again, it sounds like I am about to take a blade to my throat. But here is the thing. That was me and isn’t anymore.
2016 is officially four days old. Is it just sentimentality, or does time truly hasten with age?
In 2015, I have made more friends, watched more films, and officially graduated. I have also been fortunate to meet Enforcer, Anthelion (again, after seven years) and Miljenko Matijevic.
Work started (being an adult) and I unfortunately have not seen as many films as I would like to. Or written much about them for that matter. If I had to come up with a favourites list, it would run like this:
5. Bone Tomahawk
4. The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
3. The Martian
2. Mad Max: Fury Road
1. Ex Machina (Look at the picture! I am terrible with surprises.)
For the record, I have indeed seen Star Wars: The Force Awakens… and I will risk my life to post my pedantic views in the coming week. Of course, there is The Hateful Eight, which I will only get to see and praise later this month.
2014 was a particularly good one for me. Meeting Paul Di’Anno and 2Cellos were especially wonderful. (I got to ask Stjepan Hauser if he could play some Led Zeppelin on the next album!)
While travelling for the first time – ever – topped it off.
Not forgetting, graduation is in the cards this July. So I have that to look forward to.
On the film end, the year has been kind with some very fine ventures. I had missed tons of potentially brilliant titles, some as of yet unreleased. Joining the long watch-list are The Theory of Everything, Locke, The Double, Whiplash,Snowpiercer, Nightcrawler… and that barely covers half of it. Now, to catch up…
With way too many ‘Best of’ lists out there and so many films unseen, I have decided to forgo posting my own. Interstellar, Gone Girl – you know which are the obvious choices that should be on your watchlist.
But more reviews are of course, a-coming. I am really excited to write about some fantastic films I had seen over the past few weeks, including The Babadook and Predestination. So, let’s hope the new year gets busy, but not too busy.
Friendships fall apart for painfully slight reasons. We find things to dislike about each other, falling out or growing apart over time. While hatred hardly ever grows into love, love never fails to end in dislike or apathy.
Sometimes, we get mad and anger flows in a mad rush. Forgiveness contrastingly comes in light trickles. It almost seems that we are predisposed to welcome the negative, more than we do choose to accept the positive.
We are not perfect. We make bad decisions, reckless choices and wrong moves, too. And like every individual, we have a better side of ourselves. People change and have the capacity to change. Rather than judging temporary mistakes, why are we averse to learning to see the best in each other?
Sadness is often described to be endless and ceaseless in its revisit. Happiness goes by in a fleeting moment, always missed more than ever enjoyed. We feel happy, then notice the “what ifs”. If only. Would have been. The great perhaps.
Contentment for the present never lasts, desire for the future never lessens. At the end of the day, we are again lamenting on how things could be better, instead of taking comfort in what we now have.
What we never seem to be able to understand is how to appreciate and live in the moment. If there is a better “could have been” and there always will be, we work towards it while taking pride in how far we have come.
Sometimes, we need someone to help us through the inevitable bad thoughts. Sometimes, we step up to be that someone. When we fall into darkness, we are seldom able to see the light without guidance.